A Mathematical Proof that Girls are the Equivalent of Evil
In my fourth period class today, the next-door teacher, Mr. Mabe, decided (for whatever reason) to hang out in Mrs. Stach’s class. He found a document in his classroom (which I do not have an exact transcript of) by an anonymous student. For your enjoyment, this is a version of the document, that I converted to C++ (all of the … erm … mathematical calculations are correct, and sound).
Click here for a C++ Document (girls.cpp)
Or here for Plain-Text (will open in browser)
UPDATE: Click here for a windows binary (girls.exe) Thanks to jasonfm for the port.
This is a sample output of the program:
We all know that girls require time and money, so:
Girls = Time * Money
We can also assume that time is money, therefore:
Time = Money
Which also makes true:
Girls = square(Money)
Furthermore, because we can make the inference that money is the root of all evil:
Money= sqrt(Evil)
Which makes true:
Girls = (sqrt(square(Evil))
Finally, coming to the conclusion that:
Girls = Evil
The purpose of this program is to evaluate whether or not this theory is true.
Press enter to continue…Let’s see if this works…
Are girls evil?
Evil was initialized to random number 63Comparing values…
Check completed, girls are most definitely (mathematically) evil.
Thank you, come again!
UPDATE: Do to differences in linking and compiling algorithms, this program is not guaranteed to work on all systems. It appears to work flawlessly on Linux and Windows, but fails on OpenBSD.
2 Responses to “A Mathematical Proof that Girls are the Equivalent of Evil”
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May 11th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
That’s freaking awesome! I agree totally!
UsingPeace, bro!
May 12th, 2006 at 12:51 am
That’s freaken old! Older than me grandma!
UsingPeace, bro!